Thoughts on Love…

Have you ever felt stupid for being in love with someone? Ever asked yourself why you love a certain person and why is it impossible to stop loving him/her? Ever do things out of love and later regret it? If the answer to any of these questions is YES, well then SHAME ON YOU!!

Love is a beautiful thing and if it’s in your heart you should never be ashamed of it or feel stupid for the way you express it! You should never question it or try to avoid it or get rid of it! Love is meant to strengthen you, enlighten you, lift you up! And if you are currently looking for love in your life, I am here to tell you that the best way to bring it to yourself is by feeling and expressing it!

Love yourself! Love your enemies! Love your family and friends and family of friends and friends of friends!

You may have situations and circumstances in your life where a person hurts you or makes you sad or angry and the easiest thing for you to do is hate that person. But this is not what God wants us to do. God wants us to love unconditionally…regardless of circumstances!

Did he break your heart? Don’t stop loving him! Pray for him and send those love vibes his way and help to affect a change in his life that will make him a better person for the next love that comes along…this will in turn create AMPLE opportunities for a new and amazing love to come your way!

Did she piss you off? Don’t curse her! Pray for her and ask God to bless her! Remember that what you wish for others, you also wish for yourself! Sometimes its hard to feel love for someone who doesn’t show love for you or who does everything WRONG when it comes to, in a sense, earning or deserving your love.

RANDOM NOTE: It reminds me of Ben Stiller on the movie “The Heartbreak Kid” when his crazy ass wife told him she loved him and he was like, “Love love, love love love, love love love love!” Lol! (You gotta see it to get it! :p)

But seriously, it’s all about feeling love, though, and not being ashamed of it…not being afraid to scream it from the rooftops…not giving a damn about how others view you and if they may question your feelings and actions. If anyone asks you, “How can you say you love him or be nice to her after what they did to you?”, then your answer should be “Well, because this is what my Father told me to do!”

Everyone right now needs to love or be in love with someone…whether its your sister, your friend, your lover, or your SELF…feel the love, live the love, be the LOVE!

And I write this because I am in love with someone…and I have felt foolish for it many times…but that little voice…that sweet, calming voice that talks to me always at the perfect time…SHE told me that this is the only way I will be able to accept LOVE when it is finally reciprocated…even if it is never reciprocated from the love in my heart…it will in fact be returned unto me 100-fold…and I will be blessed…’til death bids me home!

So wherever you are…whoever you are…I welcome you! Yalla, ta’al!

Love,

Love…

Anger…

So I have broken another laptop…this is becoming a very expensive trend!

The laptop before this one I broke by throwing a Bible at it and cracking the screen…

The laptop before THAT one was my mother’s actually and I broke that one by tossing it across the living room…

And how did I break this one? Simply put…by slapping the shit out of it…

And why did I slap the shit out of it? The same reason I threw my Bible at the last one and tossed the one before…because the internet is the DEVIL!

Stupid slow internet with it’s screen freezes and 10 minute page uploads! Hmph!

Here is the sad part though…as if it isn’t already sad enough…but just last night…that sweet calm voice that speaks to me often said to me as clear as day:

“Do not get on your laptop tomorrow. It is consuming your life. Tomorrow you will not log on to Facebook, wordpress, Hotmail…ANYTHING! You will not take your laptop to work. You will go to work and finish your children’s projects with no distractions. After school, you will have the bus driver drop you off at Lulu where you will buy some groceries so you can come home and cook yourself a nice meal for once, instead of this KFC diet you have adopted these past few days. You will eat your dinner…you will do your daily exercise…you will pray…you will watch a good movie…and IF and only if time permits…you may log onto your laptop then.”

So I said, “Okay…”

But what happened this morning? I WAS HARDHEADED! I said to myself that I would just check my sites quickly before going to work to avoid any temptations to check them at school. And what happened as I logged on? It took five minutes to open a new tab. And then when I was trying to close it, nothing! I could feel those Jekkyl/Hyde twitches I get when dealing with this demonic contraption~It was then I heard that little voice saying to me…“Didn’t I tell you…??”

But I just shrugged it off and turned off the computer and slapped the keyboard twice in my frustration! Man, did it feel good! But when I turned on the computer again, that little voice said to me, “See…I told you...”

Stupid black screen…

My Girls

So these past two weekends, I have spent a significant amount of time with my girls, one of which I hadn’t chilled with in a while! And maaaaaaaaaaan did it feel good! I don’t think some people realize how important it is to have good friends and it’s a shame how some people just drift apart…the blessing is when they merge back together, though…it’s such a beautiful feeling!

Here’s to my girl Kia! My “chocolate honey”! :p My grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl ’til the end! One who I know for sure will have my back no matter what…f**king with me is just like f**king with her…tip: DON’T DO IT! I MISSED YOU KEE-KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I’m back, girl, and this time, I ain’t straying again!

Here’s to my girl Marie…my SOUL sister…my spirit’s mirror…my true true friend…the same for Kia can be said for her and vice versa! I love these girls like family…and in some cases more! Thank you both for being two of the reasons I now call Doha home! As they say, home is where the heart is! And you girls are my heart!

I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Just some random thoughts going through my mind

 

 

Lately, I have been having a series of random thoughts concerning the former lover/current love of my life…I have been questioning my faith in our redemption…will we come back together as my dreams illustrate or is this illusion in fact a DElusion?

One thing I am happy to point out is the fact that all memories of past wrongs and hurts have been completely erased from my mind. It requires work; it’s a bit of a struggle; I have to strain, in fact, to remember the things that once made me cry, and sigh, and ask why why why?

Now when I think of him, I only think of things that make me smile…

And this silent treatment we have been giving each other is so beautiful to me because when we ARE near each other, there is so much unspoken communication between us. Little small movements and actions that only we can understand. His heart speaks to me…tells me all the things that his ego and manly pride will not bring him to confess just yet…

Maybe this is presumptuous of me…maybe I am only coming up with these feelings to make myself feel better…and if this is the case…so what?? I can feel good if I want, dammit!

But the last two encounters with him have been the sweetest in a while…although we barely said five words to one another our hearts were screaming!

“I hear you, loud and clear, baby…and I miss you, too…”