Krystanalis’ Three Steps to Dealing with Heartache

So it seems that everytime I go through a bad breakup, I go in search of ways to get rid of that awful knot in my throat, that awful burn in my stomach, that awful sting in mi corazon. In the course of a recent separation I actually went online looking for articles, tips and whatnot on what I could do to sort myself out; although I already had a general idea of the proper way to deal with it. Just wanted to see if folks out there on the World Wide Web were on the same wavelength as me.

However after reading others’ advice, I found myself only getting annoyed with it all and decided to come up with my own list of how I plan on coping this go round. Many lists had up to 10 tips…I have only three. Read on.

A friend once told me that people can only do to you what you allow them to. We are solely responsible for our emotions, our feelings, our dispositions…blaming is a sick game that only fools play.

So step 1: Stop blaming HIM! Love is a two way street…as is life. We come from different directions but add to the same table…so when the table becomes overloaded and the legs begin to wobble, who are you to fault another when you have contributed a load of your own? Be an example and take responsibility for your individual weight…take the steps in actively removing that weight and you may find that he does the same.

Step 2: Believe in time apart. True, tomorrow isn’t promised and you want peace (with him) now. But time apart IS peace. Silence IS golden. Believe in the powers of the universe to do their perfect work. And believe that it does happen overnights. True, tomorrow isn’t promised but should it come there is always the promise of a blessing…or blessings, hidden and revealed. Remember the sun rays shining through the rain clouds…there lies your promise. There lies your peace.

Step 3: Remain in love. And this must be done in every way possible. Start off by loving your Creator and showing that love with continual praise and thanksgiving for each sunrise and sunset, and all of the glorious moments in between. Simultaneously, you must love your self and truly appreciate every aspect of who you are. It must never be a concern if others honor these aspects or not; particularly if you do not honor them yourself. Oftentimes, when we’re heartbroken, we begin to see the better parts of ourselves as failures, since they were not good enough to keep him around. Silly girls, we are…

My friend Nika once mentioned that sometimes our light is too bright for some to bear. I think my mother once told me the same.  There’s never a reason for us to dull our light. In fact, every let down should be an excuse to shine even brighter! If you fall out of love with him, use your new found time to rise back in love with yourself!

And as far as he is concerned, you must remain in love. And by remain in love, I mean keep your mindframe continually centered with positivity and optimism. What’s the use of negative thoughts and negative talk other than unnecessary stress? Yes, there may have been some bad times but there were some good times as well. And it should be those good moments that occupy that “him” corner of your mind and be rejoiced of/on while speaking his name. Why would you try to convince yourself that he’s relieved and happier that you’re not around? (not addressing whores or stalkers here) We like to believe, it seems, that all men are cold and emotionless creatures. But their bodies pump the same warm-blooded heart as our own…and thus they feel just as we do. Sometimes it’s necessary to swap shoes, every once in a while…there’s a lot of understanding in that act.

So remain in love by believing in love and all that Love promises. Speak in love, think in love, act in love…at all times. Remember the love and only the love…and catch yourself before sliding backwards into the negative. Embrace the love that resides in your own soul, dance with your spirit, and protect your temple…life is for the living…and what a beautiful life it is…

So yea..this is what I am trying out…I’ll let you know how it works out for me.

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