Dear Dating Diary, Entry #4: What IS dating?

November 14th, 2010 § Leave a Comment

According to Wikipedia: Dating is a form of courtship, and may include any social activity undertaken by, typically, two persons with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity. Traditional dating activities include entertainment or a meal.

Many would agree with this definition although I know people who have claimed to date someone but never actually went on a date with him/her. Let me just state for the record that dating is not the same as simply sleeping with someone, okay? So just because you may have been shagging for six months, it does not mean you’re dating! Especially if his idea of dinner and a movie is ordering pizza and watching Showtime! :p

But is ALL dating done exclusively to assess potential for a relationship? What if you just want to hang out as friends? Is that not dating? If you’ve been following my posts, you would know that I’ve been going out with a nice gentleman lately. However, I am certainly not assessing him! More like…enjoying him!

Last thing on my mind right now is an intimate relationship OR a spouse, for that matter. So does dating have to come along with this stigma of mate hunting? Can’t it just be about having a nice time without any expectations or ulterior motives? Geez.

For me, the whole dating thing is relatively new. I have never “dated” in my life…I’ve just had “relationships”! Oh wait, no…I take that back. I DID date a guy on and off for about two years before we actually became a couple…that was pretty sweet. And I have also gone out on dates with guys I was “seeing” at the time.

But I think dating should be about enjoying yourself with members of the opposite sex, whether your intentions are relationship scouting or just an excuse to get out of the house! And note that I wrote members (plural)…so just because you went out with Stan last night, doesn’t mean you can’t go out with Robert tomorrow!

Because seriously, why are you putting so much pressure on a good time? As mentioned in a previous note, when I informed a friend that I didn’t make out with ole cutie pie on the first date, she exclaimed, “Well, that’s not love, then…“

Aside from the fact that not all women give it up on the first date, not all of us are searching for love either! I know for a fact that one of the stepping stones to disappointment is entering into a situation with expectations. There should be no expectations involved in dating. Only good times and great conversation!

And I also think that friends can date! I am about to go and meet a friend for drinks in about an hour…by many standards, this would be considered a date. But am I assessing his potential to be a suitable lover or spouse? No, darlings…I am not.

But this leads me to another question: is there a difference in dating and just hanging out? I enjoy hanging out with attractive men and I also love going on dates! So am I dating the cutie pie or just hanging out with him? Is this meeting my friend for drinks a date or just a hang out session? What is the difference between the two, dear dating diary…what is it, what is it, what is it?

I mean, I have the same kind of conversations with cutie pie that I have with my friend. When I see cutie pie, I greet him with a hug and kisses on his cheeks, just as I do with my friend. Cutie pie and I are going out dancing for our next date BUT I’d probably feel awkward dancing with my friend, so does here lie the difference? Hmmmm…

All I know is, I’m enjoying myself, regardless of whatever, and this is all that matters to me. So whether we’re dating or just hanging out is of no consequence to me as long as I’m having a good time with no expectations and no strings attached!

But what do you think, ladies? I’d like to hear YOUR takes on the topic…how would YOU define dating? And is there a difference between dating and just hanging out? Holla at your girl!