Yet another former Myspace blog…

An exerpt from my diary…

 

So I wrote and posted this blog last year but have come now to delete certain chunks that no longer reflect my current state of mind…I’ve left the snippets that still hold significance…April 20, 2008

May 29, 2007

“So the other day he tells me that he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. “

***

“Because in reality, our relationship is already destined for clashes because of our religions and the whole matter of whether the kiddies will be Christian or Muslim. But I have already given that situation up to God so it doesn’t really worry me. But then I talked to this young Sudanese girl who told me that Sudanese men are ordinarily not happy in marriages with “foreign” women, particularly American women because we come from a society where divorce and single parent families are so common that there is a great possibility that I may be inclined to take my children and leave his ass when the going gets tough. She said that to a Sudanese man, loving a woman and marrying her are two different things; that he may love a woman, particularly a “foreign” woman, to death but at the end of the day, he will want to marry someone who makes a more “suitable” wife…in other words a Sudanese woman. In her opinion, a Sudanese woman will stick by her man to the end more so because of how her family and community may perceive her if she was to divorce him.

Well check this out: An AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN will stick by her man because she loves him, and because she believes in the foundations of a strong marriage, and because she understands that it is the trials and tribulations that surface that make the relationship stronger. And she really doesn’t give a damn about what her family or community thinks because if her man is a lying cheating and abusive dog, she WILL leave his ass at the drop of a dime. No woman deserves to stay in a relationship where a man is blacking her eye and fucking different bitches when he feels like it, regardless of what her “family” has to say about the situation.”

***

“But I realize that a lot of her viewpoints are as they are because she is still young and a bit close-minded. With maturity, she will learn that in the end, love really does conquer all…it conquers all perceptions, misconceptions, and doubts. And if for any reason, we do have to relocate temporarily to the country of his origin, then as his wife and woman in his LIFE, I have no choice but to adapt to the change…because that is what LOVE has taught me to do. But that’s another chapter in another book…”

***

“Right now though, I am going to give him what he is asking for…a release from pressure to please me. This is just another one of those tests of the relationship that will either make us or break us. Because if the time does come for us to part, I want it to be a peaceful one. Where we can remain friends and be able to see each other happy and not have any regrets about it. So…let’s see how this goes.”